The Many (Many) Deaths of Robert Pattinson in Bong Joon Ho's 'Mickey 17'!

You remember that little movie Parasite? I sure do, and so do most people living in the 21st century. Not only is the film masterful in every sense of the word, it also became the first international feature film to win the Oscar for Best Picture! An accomplishment that took the world by storm, and to fans of Bong Joon Ho’s previous works (in both Korean and English), it was a long time coming. With all that love and admiration for the director, it seemed only natural for his next feature to be one audiences are equally excited for. Enter, Mickey 17.

Stepping back into the English language and the world of sci-fi (Parasite is a golden outlier of Joon Ho’s career in that regard), Mickey 17 stars little-known actor Robert Pattinson as, you’ve guessed it, Mickey. In this sci-fi utopia (or dystopia — too early to say), Mickey Barnes is tired of sitting around on dang stickin’ Earth, so he applies to be an Expendable. What is an Expendable, you might ask? It sure ain’t all those action heroes from the '80s & '90s teaming up. Rather, the trailer opens on Robert Pattinson working on a space cruiser and, oops! His hand gets cut off. He definitely wasn’t gonna make it after that, so they print him a new body and send him off to another job that will most likely get him killed.

Sounds fun, doesn’t it? Well, maybe not the job itself, but the trailer at least has a very light-hearted vibe as Pattinson’s voice-over is played to the tune of “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head”. Yeah, the receptionist asks him if he read through the whole application quite concerned. Sure, Mickey sounds like he regrets it, but at least they learn something about humanity in the process? Okay, maybe not the most fun for Mickey, although it’s interesting to say the least. Heck, after Mickey falls into an icy cavern with a not-so friendly beast (probably friends with a wampa), Steven Yeun’s character asks him what it’s like to die. Weird.

All in all, probably not the most amazing career, even after 17 times of dying. What else could possibly go wrong? Going to bed with another you is what could go wrong! I’d like to say that these Multiples will be fine, but Mark Ruffalo’s character states that all of them must be exterminated — sounds like a perfect time to do the cast montage part of the trailer then, and so they shall. Alongside the stacked list of actors is a whole bunch of chaos, likely caused by the double trouble and, oh right, let’s not forget about all the Mickeys that gave their life in disappointing mediocrity. Shame on you capitalism, shame on you.

Hopefully this trailer was just a sliver of the fun that this movie has to offer. We think Mickey 17 looks like a blast, so you can expect us to plow through the cold when this movie debuts in theaters on January 31!