A new trend has taken the internet by storm: friendship. Across social media platforms, videos, posts, and essays are popping up emphasizing that maybe the secret to a good life lies not only in a romantic partner but in your community and your relationship to its members. It’s understandable, in a world so individualized, to believe that all you need in order to live well is a romantic partner. However, it’s becoming increasingly clear, with trends like Audrey Hobert’s "Silver Jubilee" on TikTok — switching from showcasing sisterly love to also hyping up the love between friends that are as close as family — that there’s another way. That’s right, now is the perfect time to get into the practice of properly romancing your friends!
Now, romancing your friends is not hard. It’s actually quite easy as long as you remember these 5 words: Evaluate, Search, Share, Invest, and Try.
Evaluate
The first step in learning the art of platonic romancing is to first evaluate your friendships. If your bestie is the type to enjoy a quiet night in, then going out to a packed rave may not work out nicely. Take some time to truly learn who your best friend is. Ask your friends what their love languages are or even what their favorite colors are and continuously build from there. Knowing intricate details about your friends will help you to properly romance them. Also use this time to evaluate your friendship as a whole. If your friendship is quite low maintenance, and that is preferred by all parties, then you don’t need to book a birthday trip to France for your friend to show them that you care. Who knows, they may enjoy a new potted plant more.
Search
Searching for things to do with your friend is how you keep a friendship alive and well. While catching up every 3 months is great, looking for opportunities to truly hang out is better. When it comes to having a great time with your best friends, remember that not every outing has to be super intricate. One outing can be brunch and the other could be a joint trip to the grocery store. A picnic, a dentist appointment, a zoom call with funny outfits on, and a trip to Spain all hold the capacity for fun and bonding if you make the most out of your time with your friends.
Share
When it comes to romancing your friends, another key element is to share something together. Whether it’s a beloved television show, beating that same dead horse for the 50th time, or even the clothes in your closet, sharing things with your friends can help strengthen your bond. Now, keep in mind your boundaries. Sharing things you truly dislike sharing will only foster resentment and stress, which is not needed when you’re trying to romance your friends. If you’re in the process of building a new friendship, always start small when it comes to sharing. Focus on sharing snacks or trinkets and then move onto bigger things as your friendship grows.
Invest
Every friend you make is an investment in the future of all parties. But, what does it mean to truly invest in your friends? To put it simply, all you need to do to properly invest in your platonic relationship is to evaluate yourself. Ask yourself, do I enjoy being in the presence of this other person? Do I want to be in this person’s life forever? Do I want them to be in mine? Is there a boundary to what I would do for/say to/spend on this person? Knowing the answers to these questions will help you evaluate if you even want to spend time romancing a potential friend. Friendships come and go, so it’s important to only invest your romance into the ones that truly matter to you.
Try
The last step to properly romancing your friends is to realize that there is no perfect way to do so. All that matters is that you try your best. Remember, your friend is their own singular being. This means that there is truly no way to know and check off every box on their friendship list. However, showing up for them and presenting love and care to them is a great way to check off most of those boxes.
