Great Success: Borat is Back!

He wears decades-old tighty whities, owns a full-sized iPod, and is known to give a mean high-five. Few others could pull off the thick mustache/cheap suit combination that he has made so iconic, but then again, few others are infamous foreign journalists who have wrestled bears and Playboy models alike. In our present time of uncertainty, one thing rings true: Kazakhstan’s most shameful pride-and-joy is back and ready to hold it down in America. 

Borat: Gift of Pornographic Monkey to Vice Premiere Mikhael Pence to Make Benefit Recently Diminished Nation of Kazakhstan will be bestowed upon the masses on October 23 like a divine gift sent from the celestial beings above (or, from a middle-aged third-rate reporter who lives in what is essentially a shed. Either way...). The “subsequent moviefilm” will follow Borat as he returns to his personal promised-land to gift his daughter to a rather high-ranking politician. 

But pitfalls abound! People “make recognize his face”, forcing him to turn to disguise; the police will not allow him to drive with a woman strapped on top of his car; and the coronavirus lurks behind every corner. Fortunately, Borat is slick and handles all situations with the utmost grace and discretion (insert “NOT!” joke here).

Superfans and super-enemies (looking at you, Nursultan Tulyakbay) will be able to stream the new “documentary” on Amazon Prime. As an unwise man once said, “Please go [stream] my film. If not success, I will be execute.”