12 Tips for Surviving a Horror Movie!
season is upon us, which means that we have already started the
horror movie marathons, and if you watch enough of them and take
some notes, you might just be able make it through one of these
spooky scenarios yourself. Here’s a little guide we’ve
put together, just in case you find yourself in a horror
1. Avoid Abandoned Areas
Just don’t. Don’t do it. Don’t go there. They are abandoned for a reason, and that reason is because you will die or be in for a night of pain and suffering. Along those same lines -- avoid any circuses, cemeteries, and abandoned structures like hospitals, asylums, and mansions.
2. Leave the Ancient Artifacts Alone
Don’t play with them. I would especially advise against dolls or antique-looking objects with unidentified symbols on them. I would also avoid opening any boxes that haven’t been opened in a long time.
3. Just Keep Driving
Don’t pick up hitchhikers, because they’re probably a killer or are being chased by a killer, and you really don’t need that in your life.
4. Everyone is Fair Game
If you find yourself in a horror movie, remember that anyone can die! Usually virgins are safe, but with horror movies nowadays, nobodyis safe!
5. Mind Your Business
If you hear
something, don’t investigate. Chances are, it’s not
going to be good. Unless you are armed and are savvy with said
weapon, the sound is coming from your demise.
6. Stay Insulated
Avoid being near doors and windows, anything a monster or killer can burst through to drag you down into their hellish dimension.
7. Have an Exit Strategy
To build on the tip above, know your surroundings; if you have to run, hide, or build a fortress, you have to know your escape routes and traps.
8. Stay Together
“Let’s split up.” NO! That is never a good idea; in fact, it’s the worst idea. You’re asking to be murdered one by one.
9. Black Barf = Dealbreaker
If someone is spewing nasty black liquid, it’s all over for them. There’s no saving them. Say your goodbyes and move on. Unless you think you can pull off an exorcism, which you probably can’t, just go.
10. Listen to Your Pets
smell threats, and I mean all threats. They can sense ghosts,
anything paranormal, evil people, and they will warn you of
anything bad. Dogs are your FRIENDS!
11. Heed the Warning Signs
If it suddenly gets cold and the lights start to flicker, get out! Evil is upon you and it might be too late.
12. Avoid Sequels -- Double-Check Your Work!
If you’re lucky enough to be the survivor, you get to kill the bad guy, and if that’s you, for goodness sake, MAKE SURE THE KILLER IS DEAD! No one wants a horrible sequel. Make sure there’s no chance for life-saving surgery or a painful limp. Make sure that killer is braindead. I would go as far to bash his head in and burn the sucker, just to make sure. But that's just me; I like to cover my bases.
Those are just a few of my horror movie rules, but there are plenty more depending on what type of movie you’re in.
What are some of YOUR horror movie survival tips?
(Image via Paramount/Getty Images)
- Amanda Baltazar, YH Contributing Writer