Adele: 'I had bad postpartum depression'
Adele is afraid to have another child because of the postpartum depression she suffered after giving birth to her son Angelo.
The Hello singer goes back and forth about adding to her family with partner Simon Konecki and in October (16), she told fans at one of her concerts she really wanted to get pregnant again.
However, in the new issue of Vanity Fair, she reveals her
postpartum depression was so bad it scared her, and she is not sure
if she can go through it again.
"I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it
frightened me," she says.
Adele did not take medication for the issue and was reluctant to
talk to a professional about what she was experiencing. Instead,
she found solace in talking to other mothers.
"My boyfriend said I should talk to other women who were pregnant,
and I said, 'I ain't hanging around with a f**king bunch of mothers
(sic)'," she tells the publication. "Then, without realizing it, I
was gravitating towards pregnant women and other women with
children, because I found they're a bit more patient. You'll be
talking to someone, but you're not really listening, because you're
so... tired."
"My friends who didn't have kids would get annoyed with me," she
continues. "Whereas I knew I could just sit there and chat absolute
mush with my friends who had children, and we wouldn't judge each
other. One day I said to a friend, 'I... hate this,' and she just
burst into tears and said, 'I... hate this, too.' And it was done.
It lifted."
The 28-year-old also explains it was difficult for her to figure
out what she was experiencing after Angelo's birth because she had
a different idea about what postpartum depression was.
"My knowledge of postpartum-or post-natal, as we call it in
England, is that you don't want to be with your child; you're
worried you might hurt your child; you're worried you weren't doing
a good job," she explains. "But I was obsessed with my child. I
felt very inadequate; I felt like I'd made the worst decision of my
life... It can come in many different forms."
And eventually she decided to give herself some time to spend alone
to help her cope with what she was going through.
"I just said, I'm going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to
do whatever... I want without my baby," she says. "A friend of mine
said, 'Really? Don't you feel bad?' I said, 'I do, but not as bad
as I'd feel if I didn't do it.' Four of my friends felt the same
way I did, and everyone was too embarrassed to talk about it; they
thought everyone would think they were a bad mom, and it's not the
case. It makes you a better mom if you give yourself a better
time."