Gerard Butler & Craig Ferguson Tell Some Jokes

Hi guys. Hey, how are you? So excited to have you here.

I'm so excited to have you here.

I'm excited for you too. I I thought you were both of us, but

It is both of us. You guys go way back, don't you?

20 minutes? Long enough.

We go back 20 minutes, but you guys really do.

We were raised as the children of chimney sweeps in Dickensian London.

Yeah. Yeah. And we

We were chimney sweeps. I would go up the chimney and Jerry would look up my pants.

So you liked it if he went first. Up the chimney? Sure. You can catch a little catch a little look. Do you wait, who calls who Numpty?

Numpty.

Both.

You call each other Numpty. Where did that come from? Is that like a term of endearment?

Yeah, yeah, Numpty. Not so much. It's kind of, yeah, but like kind of silly billy or something. Sort of like that. Right. It's like your for cake. It's like it's affectionate but it's like.

Yeah, like like bastard.

Got it. Got it.

But in the nicest possible way.

Sure.

Well, you could say it angry.

Yeah, you could you're not. Yeah, like that. But you could also yeah. That's sweet. See that just the first one scared me. When he said that behind me, I was like, I'm in trouble. And the second one warmed my little heart. See.

That's right. That's what we That's how we did the chimney. It's time. This is your big moment. Have a nice flight.

I'm So Craig Gobber. Yes. He um his physical imperfections. You've said before, you embrace them. Sure. He's not the best looking guy in the world.

Well, neither am I. I can live with it.

No, I beg to differ. But I really like you. You're very good at this. Thank you. Um, what do you have any physical imperfections that you are proud of and have embraced?

Everything's fine. No, I have none. I've got a mole.

And what about you? I actually have a It's kind of you can't tell. I have a mole third nipple. Do you really have a third nipple?

Yeah, I used to call myself Scaremonger from the bond move. It used to be more pronounced, but I have one here and then I have one in my my

You have another nipple there?

No, no. It's just a mole, but I didn't notice it until I was like five and my my aunt's dog brandy bit me. And then I was trying to tell everybody that brandy gave me that mole and they were all laughing and I was like, cuz her dog bit me and they're laughing at what, you know.

So you both play Vikings. Do you think men men today have they evolved or are they still like Vikings?

I don't know. I mean, you have the you have the hairiness down.

Yeah, definitely. Some of us I'm completely waxed. I'm like a dolphin from the neck down.

Well, I was going to ask you about manscaping, but that's a whole other topic.

No, no, there's no manscape it's just it's just it's like it's like the it's like the the more happy down there. Just barren. Not even a a shrub. Which reminds me. I don't even have to have this. I just had this for the movie I was just doing. No, but I also only finished like a day and a half ago, got on a plane straight away and flew back and I remember thinking, I need to shave off my beard. And now I'm here and it as we were having this discussion and you went this I I I was so smart. I went, Oh yeah, I still have this beard.

So are men like Vikings? Are men

Yeah, exactly. So you took that somewhere else. And let's get back to the men being like Vikings because that's a really good question and I don't know the answer.

It's a good question. I don't know. I think depending who the man is. Right. So I think it depends on the person and it depends on the moment because I think sometimes in moments we all have that Viking in us and then a lot of this world and the way we live it does not require Viking and it makes us more like um school girls.

Some may suggest this is purely conceived.

Well, it's a good thing that I never listen.

What is the movie that we're here about? How to train your dragons.

Oh yeah. I thought it was Bakersfield is falling and it's it's like yeah, it it's the movie I'm doing where I'm a a security guy in Bakersfield and it's attacked by terrorists and I saved the day.

I just feel like you're ripping off.

No, man, it's a completely different concept to Olympus is fallen. It's Bakersfield. I, you know, I can't take this anymore. Um can we can we go out with I know you you you like fun jokes.

Yes, you can go out with me. Or Craig. He would love telling jokes.

You told a joke on his show twice and on this on this couch once before. You have your kind of like they're like dad jokes.

Okay. You want to hear you want to hear a joke?

Yeah.

All right. Inflatable boy is in the inflatable school in front of the inflatable headmaster. And the inflatable headmaster is telling him off. And the inflatable boy decides he's had enough, right? So he pulls out an inflatable fork and he stabs the inflatable headmaster and then he runs through the inflatable school and he stabs the inflatable walls of the inflatable school and he keeps running and he gets chased by the inflatable police and he gets cornered in this inflatable alleyway and he turns and he says, you know what? You're not taking me alive and he stabs his inflatable body. And and he wakes up in the inflatable hospital in the inflatable bed and the inflatable headmaster standing in front of him and he says, you let me down. You let the school down. But most of all, you let yourself down. You want to hear another one.

The movie is called How to Train Your Dragon 2. They're both in it.

No, no, wait. You should know that that joke and the other joke are also not in the movie. It's really good. None of my jokes in the movie. Have no fear.