At the Improv with Twitter's Funniest Person, Rob Delaney

You said that people when they see you think you're either a cop, Uh-huh. a lawyer or a weatherman. Out of all those I'd rather be a cop 'cause you'd just be out in the world more interacting with people. You could crack jokes when you give people tickets.

You totally could. You could, yeah, as you slap the cuffs on them. They love that. It really softens the blow if you're a cop to just be like, "You're nuts." or tickle them a little, they love that.

Knock, knock. Who's there? I am Nikki Novak here at the LA Improv with Rob Delaney. How's it going?

Very well, thanks. How are you?

Is there a difference because I know tonight you have like an 8:00 show and a 10:00 show.

Yes.

Tell me about the difference between the audiences. Do they get crazier as time goes on? Do they start out strong and then they peter out?

You know it's funny. Uh, sometimes the second show can either be rowdier.

Okay.

Or their more their higher level of drunkenness can lead them to be a little more lethargic.

Right.

So sometimes they'll be quieter. So you know that they're drunker, how it's that's going to manifest is sort of a dice roll. And so I remember on my first day of nursery school, I went in uh at the Jewish Community Center and uh Miss Shelly, our teacher played a ukulele and gathered the the kids and one parent each and uh she sang, "Where is Robbie? Where is Robbie?" And I stood up and said, "Here I am." Here I am. It was nice. And then she, "Very nice to meet you. Very nice to meet you. Please sit down." And I did. And uh the heavens opened. It was amazing. And but then then she sang, "Where is Andrew? Where is Andrew?" And I stood up again and I go, "Andrew's dead." And I did that cuz my grandparents' dog, Andrew, had died the week before. And I didn't know that there was like more than one Andrew. I don't think there should be, but there are. And uh the little boy was like, "Dad!" He had to go and hug him. He got on heroin when he was like four, he died.

You said that people when they see you think you're either a cop, Uh-huh. a lawyer or a weatherman. So yeah. And you're a comedian, which would you be the best at? Of one of those?

Yes.

What did we say? Cop, Cop, lawyer, weatherman.

Or weatherman. Yes.

Out of all those I'd rather be a cop 'cause you'd just be out in the world more interacting with people. You could crack jokes when you give people tickets.

You totally could. You could, yeah, as you slap the cuffs on them. They love that. It really softens the blow if you're a cop to just be like, "You're nuts." or tickle them a little. They love that.

You'd be the only cop people liked. Officer Tickles. Congratulations on your Twitter award.

Oh, thank you.

Named the funniest person on Twitter. And there's a lot of people on Twitter. There's a lot of competition out there.

There are. I was I was honored. I didn't think that I would win. I mean, like Steve Martin was nominated.

Were there like there were like nominees? Was it like an award ceremony type thing?

There uh it was a lesser category of award, like the real awards like funniest person on a television show. They got to go to the awards ceremony, but the Twitter people were like a dirty afterthought. I'm so happy that I won.

It's like the pre-Grammy like in a really it is a ceremony. These awards were given out. So they announced you know, I think like right before they went commercial like, "Oh, by the way, Rob Delaney won. Go get a sandwich." This one got 3,024 retweets. If you're fat and stupid retweet. Ha yeah. And considering you have a half a million Twitter followers, that's not very many people that are fat and stupid. Right. Do you have one in particular that you think really broke like really like set the tone or set the bar?

One that was really popular in the beginning, that got retweeted a lot was I said, uh, whenever I get home before my wife, I can never decide whether to masturbate or eat a whole pizza. And that was very popular. That's I first wrote that and people and and people liked it and I was like, "Oh, people people like me." And I got very excited. And uh and from that moment my life was wonderful, whereas previously it had just been garbage wall-to-wall.

There you go. Okay. You tweeted to Kim Kardashian. Your BFF. Are you enjoying the White House correspondent's dinner? It makes total sense that you're there. No one is horrified. Right.

Yeah, that's not a that's not nice what I said cuz that stinks of sarcasm. And those aren't usually going to be the best tweets. I'm guilty like anybody of relying on on cheap easy things like sarcasm. I try not to use that too much. Sarcasm should be a spice cuz if you're sarcastic all the time, nobody wants to be around that. But uh

Well, I sure liked it. I picked it out.

Um, but uh, yeah, I know cuz she was at the White House correspondence center, which is very silly. Granted, that's a silly dinner, so it's not like, you know, there are people there are politicians that are sillier than her.

She is going to be president one day. You do realize that?

That unfortunately is not impossible. It's sad, but not impossible.

And last but not least, probably the worst thing you can do to somebody is leave them a voicemail.

Yeah, isn't that funny? Like, we used to not even that long ago, like three years ago if you got a voicemail, you'd be like, "Oh, goody. What is it?" But now with text it's like, "Oh my God, I gotta go through and listen to the thing it's like, uh."

Thank you Officer Tickles, it was great chatting with you.

Pleasure to meet you. Thanks.

Congrats on all your success.

Thanks.