New 'Star Wars' Film Has a Name, and What It Could Mean!

November 5th, 2014, was a good day to be alive. Then November 6th came along, and if you were a nerd or a Star Wars fan, then that day was even better. Recently it was announced that principal photography had been completed for Episode VII of Skywalker Dynasty, and the world uttered a collective sigh of relief in knowing that we were closer and closer to seeing some footage of this baby. Well, I am pleased to report to those still unaware (all 6 of you) that this baby has a name. And thank god, because the last movie to be released with just the plain name of Star Wars unfortunately... made a ton of money and changed cinema forever.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens is what we have been given, and nothing but the mighty hand of Yoda is gonna change it. I, for one, like the title because it does what every great Star Wars title has done. It’s given me a fairly clear notion as to what the movie is going to be about. For those that don’t like too much information, they can all relax when they hear that the 8th film will be entitled Star Wars Episode VIII: No Spoilers Please. But seriously, nearly every Star Wars movie has come with a pretty decent title, with the possible exception of Episode II, but only because the internet will kill me if I try to defend it. Yes, even Phantom Menace is a good title because they’re talking about the Sith/Empire, and that is completely logical. It’s all in the title, and this one, regardless of it’s noticeably missing Episode VII, falls right in with the best of them. So, what does the title mean? Well, I have a fairly clear idea, but let’s take some guesses for the hell of it...

1. The midi-chlorians talked about in the Star Wars prequels have all died. Now the energy field that old Obi-Wan & Yoda rambled on about, that used to surround all lifeforms, reawakens to... surround all lifeforms again and make puppets and CGI figures strong. Oh, and can The Force really fall asleep? Is that even a thing that can happen?

2. Luke never re-awoke after his perilous tango with a snow-beast in Empire Strikes Back and merely dreams up the events of the 5th and 6th movie. He has awoken years later and needs to use the restroom. Now that he’s done that, he can set about finding his old teammates and seeing if his 4-plus hour-long dream can help to save the Republic. Oh, and the dude from Lord of the Rings will be there. No, not Elijah Wood, although I guess he could be good in one of these flicks.

3. John Boyega is a stormtrooper hoping to pull off a huge score so he can retire from The Empire and live the rest of his days on Coruscant in the lap of luxury. But in order to infiltrate the newly rebuilt palace of Jabba the Hut, he’ll need the help of some old friends. The classic cast of Star Wars is back, and this time, the Jawa & the Joker is Wild, as they plan the biggest heist that this really long ago and far away galaxy has ever seen.

But in all seriousness, though, the title simply means they’re back. The Jedi, I mean. The Jedi Order and any follower of the force aside from Darth V. was deemed to be forgotten about even at the start of A New Hope. So, unless Luke opened up a Jedi Academy after Return of the Jedi, I’m guessing things aren’t too much different at the start of this latest film. And because a Star Wars movie without Jedi is like a Wes Anderson movie without quirkiness. They don’t exist, and you don’t want them to. So, the Jedi and other practitioners of the Force are coming back, and despite any online protests, “The Force Awakens” was probably the most elegant way to sum that up. What else were they going to call it? “A Newer Hope”. “Return of the Jedi...Again”! “Revenge of the Sith: Revenge Harder”! No, those titles wouldn’t work, so let's all join hands and embrace the latest addition to the Star Wars nursery. At least until we see the trailer, that is...

(Photo via WENN)