4 Unanswered Questions From Classic Christmas Movies That We Finally Need Answers To!
It’s officially Christmas time, folks, and if you are a Christmas fan like I am, you are probably used to the Christmas movie marathon you inherently partake in every year. (Side note: isn't it funny how it’s not even really a choice anymore? You just turn on the TV and suddenly you're like, “oops, watched Elf for the 20th time this week and now onto my 3rd Home Alone viewing...") But one thing I’ve taken away from watching all these movies so many times is the inexplicable questions you are not really supposed to ask that you cannot help but think about on your 3rd (or 50th) viewing of a movie -- the same way people were wondering about why Jack didn’t fit on the door in Titanic after they got over the shock of his horrific death. So, ahead of the Christmas movie watching season, I have gathered the top four unanswered questions I have from these classic Christmas movies!
1. The Santa Clause: Where Did Scott Think All Of Charlie's Presents Came From?
Growing up, there was no movie I enjoyed coming on the Disney Channel more thanThe Santa Clause. Being a faithful Santa believer, I enjoyed seeing Tim Allen play the reluctant yet sweet Santa and rooted for him even though he started as a Santa non-believer. Here, however, is the question that burns my brain -- if he didn’t believe in Santa, even though Santa clearly exists in this universe, who did he think delivered all those presents for his young son each year? He clearly didn’t buy them, so did he think his ex-wife bought those? Wouldn’t they have had a discussion at some point about who is buying the Christmas gifts this year? Please tell Tim Allen to hit me up, I need answers!!!
2. Home Alone 2: Fool Me Once, Shame On Me; Fool Me Twice, Call Child Protective Services!
Merry Christmas, you filthy animals! There is no movie that is as badass as Home Alone, Christmas movie or not. I mean, c’mon, a kid fighting two grown adults by himself all while learning the true meaning of family? Badass. However, there is something that comes to my mind when I think about the Home Alone movies. Forget your young son and leave him behind in a family vacation once? Accident. Forget your son in a family vacation and leave him behind twice? Maybe your parenting skills just suck. This is not too much of an underlying question, but a plea for justice for poor sweet Kevin, who seems to be greatly underappreciated by his family. #JUSTICEFORKEVIN
3. Love Actually: Where In The World Is Colin Firth?
I think nobody that has seen this film has gotten over the cue card scene where Mark (Andrew Lincoln) reveals his true feelings for Juliet (Keira Knightley). In a movie where the amount of love and feelings is so high you can’t really be worrying about details, there are still some moments that bring about some confusion. For instance, the storyline between recently-cheated-on writer Jamie (Colin Firth) and Aurélia (Lúcia Moniz), a Portuguese housekeeper. They meet in France, and although they hit it off, Jamie doesn’t speak Portuguese and Aurélia doesn't speak French nor English. After going back to England, Jamie realizes he is still in love with Aurélia and decides to go look for her again, but when he does, he ends up in a Portuguese-speaking restaurant, which makes me wonder... is this restaurant in France? If so, why is everyone speaking Portuguese? Is it a little Portuguese village? Did he travel all the way to Portugal to track her down? Asking for a friend.
4. Elf: Why Did The Elves Keep Buddy?
Did nobody think to give this human baby back? I mean, yes, he was in an orphanage before they found him, but wouldn’t Santa think he might be better off raised by humans? I guess you could make a point of how bad the foster care system is, that even Santa thought it made more sense to leave a baby with enchanted beings than trust that he will be delivered to a good family. But also, couldn’t you have given him a bigger bed??
I will be asking all these questions at least three times a week as I rewatch each and every one of these movies.